I'm Alive!!

There is so much that has happened in the last few months while I took an unplanned hiatus from Twitter and from my blog. But then, my fellow bloggers probably didn’t really notice since I haven’t exactly been very consistent with my writing. It isn’t that I haven’t wanted too, and it isn’t really that I didn’t have the time. And, quite frankly, it isn’t that I haven’t felt inspired. Because I have to all of the above. If I truly got to the bottom of the why, it would come down to a simple yet emotionally charged statement/question.



“Who on earth actually cares about what I have to say?”



Well, I do. And quite frankly, that’s all that really matters. You may not give two iotas about me or about my story, but if I care more about what you think of me instead of what I need, feel, or think, well then, I am only letting those stupid little tapes in my head win. You know the ones….the ones that tell you how horrible your writing is, that you are not worth it, etc. well, here is what I have to say to that little (really quite big and loud) voice – SHOVE IT!



Maybe you guys don’t care or maybe you do. All I DO know is how I feel after I write. And what I feel is truly what matters. And that’s all I have to say about that.





I have been keeping up with my fellow bloggers…and boy oh boy have you all had a lot going on!!

First, let me apologize for being a bad follower and not commenting when I wanted or when I should have. You each inspire me with your thoughts, your insight, your willingness to share your soul with all of us. Isn’t it funny how connected you can feel to someone you have never laid eyes on…at least not physically.

Second, I have missed you! I have found myself feeling secluded from those of you considered to be in my little LGBTQ circle. Not by your doing, mind you, it was my own. However, I realized how much I not only wanted to have my circle back, but needed it as well. There is something so easy about sharing and seeking advice from this wonderful group of all very different but very much the same people. As some of you know, I don’t really have many friends within the LBGTQ community in “real” life. I have a few, but have always wanted to have a great group of close friends within our community. And while I know that the few I do have, including some that are family, will always be there through thick or thin, they aren’t the kind I can call for a last minute coffee ‘date’. And that’s what I feel I have with all of you. Only instead of meeting over coffee, we meet over multiple states and the internets. ;o)

Third, I promise to try more. To get out of my blogging shell and write like I truly feel. To let you see the person that I see when I look in the mirror. Because, I KNOW she is worth knowing.





So, where do I being after being gone so long?? The new job? The new pup? The horrible habit I have begun again that I KNOW some of you are going to yell at me for? The dreaded weight gain after giving up the diet – I got to be the most I have ever weighed – and loathed myself for it? Or maybe the (go me!!) 16 pounds I have lost in going on 8 weeks with Weight Watchers? How about the nightmare of getting the phone call that mom had a heart attack and it didn’t look good? Like I said, so much has happened!! I promise to write about all of the above and then some. So as not to leave you hanging about mom, she lived through it (THANK GOD), but things went back to me not existing.



For now, I will leave you with this: "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible." – St. Francis of Assisi